Entry #5: - 19 lbs lost combined...
The last couple of weeks have been a whirlwind of emotions. Being overwhelmed with joy, fear, anxiety, happiness, gratefulness, worry and relief. We had the blessing of having my dad visiting us from Puerto Rico, as well as my dear Titi Millie from Dallas for LJ's Pre-K graduation. Going back to the last few days, it got me thinking how life is "Sweet and Sour," as well as, for my taste buds. I love "sweet and sour" foods. Give me some savory and sweet and I'm a happy girl. It also made me think of how much "weight" we carry on our shoulders, heart, mind and soul. It was very humbling to see LJ graduate from Pre-K. Not only for what it means as a milestone for him, but also how well he managed it even though sensory-wise it was a true overload. He clenched, he had both his hands covering his face, but he stood there, clap, and follow the songs with his fellow classmates. When the ceremony was done, you could feel his anxiety and tension, his heart was racing, but he was compliant and stayed at the crowded Gym, where even one of his friend's dad said: "I cannot even imagined how he must be feeling, I'm an adult and I'm overwhelmed with all the stimuli here." I felt and overwhelming wave of joy and gratefulness being able to share that moment with my dad and aunt, but couldn't help feeling sad and nostalgic that my mom wasn't there to see her baby boy graduate from the school she loved so much and helped us keep attending when things got financially rough for us.
When we think of weight, we think in terms of pounds, sizes, all visual, not necessarily how we "feel" inside" or adding the "extra-weight' that life throws at us. I do know that my boys are going to be fine and set in life. Not because I can control it, but because I entrusted them to God since I found out I was pregnant with them. That doesn't mean the control freak in me overpowers from time to time. Of course I would love to control their environments, experiences, etc. which gives me great deal of unnecessary stress and fear. And how I "decompress"? I eat...preferably "sweet and sour" stuff...The irony of all of these is why can't I used my "control freak-ness" to control what I put in my body? Right? Wouldn't it be amazing if we can turn our excesses and neurosis into positives?
Continuing with the "Sweet and Sour" couple of days, with a side of Chinese food, egg rolls and savory with sweet yummy dishes, Luiso lost a LOT of WEIGHT this last week. He lost the stress of finally having his Master Report completed; and finally, got his Master in Software Engineering done. I think as soon as he received the final notification from the UT Registrar office, got everything, signed and approved, he lost all the extra-weight we've been carrying for 4 yrs. I'm super proud of him, and already told him in all my "Puerto Rican-ness splendor sarcastic tone" - "dime, dime que mas vas a estudiar ahora" (tell me, tell me what are you going to study next...) if you have never met a Puerto Rican woman before, in this case, a Puerto Rican wife, what I'm really saying to Luiso is: "If you dare to tell me you're going to study something else, I'm going to slap you silly until you snap out of it."
Regarding food choices and our new way of living, it's been "Sweet and Sour" as well. We've been eating out way more than we need to. Between "eating out our emotions and celebratory occasions" I've noticed that we're also making better choices. We are adding vegetables and still no sodas nor artificial sweeteners, etc. Baby steps, but we have kept moving. Tomorrow, LJ starts Kindergarten. He is not only ready and excited in his own way, but also is a new chapter in our family life in terms of having a new routine. Also, it is a "sweet and sour" moment because right after we drop LJ at school, I'm taking my dad to the airport, he is going back to Puerto Rico. He also is doing better food choices and taking care of his health. We loved having him here with us, I really treasured the days we spent together and how much the boys enjoyed his presence.
I will continue to savor these Sweet and Sour moments, in all aspects, inside and out. Because it is the sour that helps us enjoy the sweet, but too much sweet, can turn into extremely sour. Everything in balance..."one day at a time."
Monday, August 25, 2014
Tuesday, August 5, 2014
"One day at a time" - some days..."one hour at a time..."
Entry #4: -16 lbs. (yes, we're kind of stuck...)
So far, so good... in terms of being conscious about food choices (the majority of the time) and managing our new lifestyle...but "old habits" die slow, and this one is no exception. There are tons of "excuses" that I can think of, but I'm not even going to look for them. Some things in life are as easy as "I'll do it, or I don't" not "maybe" nor "later." Which got me thinking on why we procrastinate so much when having to do something, and why we "complain" about anything and everything. I don't know why we believe that we deserve the blessing without putting the work for it. I'm totally guilty of this. But again, I have 2 options, 1) quit or 2)try again..."One day at a time." Eating out is my debacle. I LOVE eating out, and it doesn't have to be anywhere fancy. Any fast food restaurant would do it for me. But If you want to see me "happier than a dog with 2 tails" take me to Chipotle, Red Lobster or to Joe Crab's House. Especially, if eating out means that 1) I don't have to cook. 2) see my 3 guys making faces when trying the food I just cooked. 3) Clean the kitchen. I know that I've said that "this time," I was going to take my time and not obsessed about food nor what I do, but reality is that I need to have accountability and do need to monitor what I eat. Same with exercise...I have tons of excuses not to exercise, medical, health-wise, even I can say that my beliefs doesn't let me work out, etc...but again, it is a matter of ownership and accountability with myself. So far, my exercise routine consists of drinking the >64oz of water needed. Meaning that I need to "go pee" frequently. The positive thing of this is that 1) the bathroom is far from my cubicle at work. 2) My workplace promotes a healthy and active lifestyle as part of their "corporate culture" - In other words... my walking to the bathroom counts in favor of my productivity and utilization metrics. (at work and my FitBit) Another positive thing about it is that apparently, the people in our work building are on the same "schedule" because I tend to ran into the same people when "exercising" (wink, wink)- enabling a great deal of "networking opportunities" (in another kind of "cubicles" of course) and exchanging ideas and even giving reminders of deliverables needed for our project at tasks.
Going back to all of the "excuses" I can come up with in order not to take responsibility for the changes and the discipline I need to follow in order to see the outcome I will like to see, these last weeks, I've been missing my mom more than ever. Especially yesterday, I was craving her delicious "Pollo Guisado" and I tried in my best effort to "recreate it." Needless to say, it came out not even close to her recipe and flavor. Which made me miss her even more, because I couldn't even call her to tell her that I messed up her recipe. It also reminded me that she learned how to do it from my grandmother, Mama Carmen, and her "Pollo Guisado" was even better. Now, they are both in Heaven, and I still miss my Mama Carmen a lot. However, I do think they are both proud that at least I'm trying to cook. Because per my Grandma's, Mama Carmen, opinion, I should have not get married because I didn't like to cook nor clean. (I still don't like to cook and clean...)
I'm also doing something that I've said I wasn't going to do this time, I started to log my food intake using the "MyFitnessPal" phone application. (If you're on it, look for me: "Nyleoj72") I'm also wearing my "FitBit" (which is almost 2 yrs old) because I wanted to measure how many calories, steps and "how far" I was walking on my "technical/networking stops" to the bathroom at work. Ah! By the way, Luiso is doing good, thank you. Remember, his part of the deal is to do everything I do. Deep down I feel so bad for him because his mom, Doña Alba, is a great cook! She can do the simplest dish taste "ah-mah-zing" (really!) But he is stuck with me.... As this famous Puerto Rican saying says..."This is what the boat brought." However, I'm so thankful that even though you can see the "fifty shades of (insert any color you'd like)" in his face when I tell him what I cooked for dinner, he still eats it. The boys...that's another story....
So these days, I'm taking things "one day at a time" - some days are "one hour at a time" in all aspects of my life; plus, using my "Pray & Praise FitBit" to count all my blessings and wonderful things that I get to enjoy. Because we only have today. And it needs to count. As "My Fitness Pal" says when you're done logging for the day: "Complete Entry - If every day were like today...you'd weight ### in 5 weeks*" :D
So far, so good... in terms of being conscious about food choices (the majority of the time) and managing our new lifestyle...but "old habits" die slow, and this one is no exception. There are tons of "excuses" that I can think of, but I'm not even going to look for them. Some things in life are as easy as "I'll do it, or I don't" not "maybe" nor "later." Which got me thinking on why we procrastinate so much when having to do something, and why we "complain" about anything and everything. I don't know why we believe that we deserve the blessing without putting the work for it. I'm totally guilty of this. But again, I have 2 options, 1) quit or 2)try again..."One day at a time." Eating out is my debacle. I LOVE eating out, and it doesn't have to be anywhere fancy. Any fast food restaurant would do it for me. But If you want to see me "happier than a dog with 2 tails" take me to Chipotle, Red Lobster or to Joe Crab's House. Especially, if eating out means that 1) I don't have to cook. 2) see my 3 guys making faces when trying the food I just cooked. 3) Clean the kitchen. I know that I've said that "this time," I was going to take my time and not obsessed about food nor what I do, but reality is that I need to have accountability and do need to monitor what I eat. Same with exercise...I have tons of excuses not to exercise, medical, health-wise, even I can say that my beliefs doesn't let me work out, etc...but again, it is a matter of ownership and accountability with myself. So far, my exercise routine consists of drinking the >64oz of water needed. Meaning that I need to "go pee" frequently. The positive thing of this is that 1) the bathroom is far from my cubicle at work. 2) My workplace promotes a healthy and active lifestyle as part of their "corporate culture" - In other words... my walking to the bathroom counts in favor of my productivity and utilization metrics. (at work and my FitBit) Another positive thing about it is that apparently, the people in our work building are on the same "schedule" because I tend to ran into the same people when "exercising" (wink, wink)- enabling a great deal of "networking opportunities" (in another kind of "cubicles" of course) and exchanging ideas and even giving reminders of deliverables needed for our project at tasks.
Going back to all of the "excuses" I can come up with in order not to take responsibility for the changes and the discipline I need to follow in order to see the outcome I will like to see, these last weeks, I've been missing my mom more than ever. Especially yesterday, I was craving her delicious "Pollo Guisado" and I tried in my best effort to "recreate it." Needless to say, it came out not even close to her recipe and flavor. Which made me miss her even more, because I couldn't even call her to tell her that I messed up her recipe. It also reminded me that she learned how to do it from my grandmother, Mama Carmen, and her "Pollo Guisado" was even better. Now, they are both in Heaven, and I still miss my Mama Carmen a lot. However, I do think they are both proud that at least I'm trying to cook. Because per my Grandma's, Mama Carmen, opinion, I should have not get married because I didn't like to cook nor clean. (I still don't like to cook and clean...)
I'm also doing something that I've said I wasn't going to do this time, I started to log my food intake using the "MyFitnessPal" phone application. (If you're on it, look for me: "Nyleoj72") I'm also wearing my "FitBit" (which is almost 2 yrs old) because I wanted to measure how many calories, steps and "how far" I was walking on my "technical/networking stops" to the bathroom at work. Ah! By the way, Luiso is doing good, thank you. Remember, his part of the deal is to do everything I do. Deep down I feel so bad for him because his mom, Doña Alba, is a great cook! She can do the simplest dish taste "ah-mah-zing" (really!) But he is stuck with me.... As this famous Puerto Rican saying says..."This is what the boat brought." However, I'm so thankful that even though you can see the "fifty shades of (insert any color you'd like)" in his face when I tell him what I cooked for dinner, he still eats it. The boys...that's another story....
So these days, I'm taking things "one day at a time" - some days are "one hour at a time" in all aspects of my life; plus, using my "Pray & Praise FitBit" to count all my blessings and wonderful things that I get to enjoy. Because we only have today. And it needs to count. As "My Fitness Pal" says when you're done logging for the day: "Complete Entry - If every day were like today...you'd weight ### in 5 weeks*" :D
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