"No more crap eating" (In the Puerto Rican meaning of the phrase)

Entry #2 Still at -15 lbs (combined) lost

So Luiso and I have embarked in our new "way of life."   We are in week 4 of our new lifestyle and eating style changes.  So far, so good.  Only couple of days of eating "crap" (literally.)  There are couple of things that got me thinking in the phrase "eating crap" which in Puerto Rico we referred to "Comer Mierda"  and we used in various contexts. For example: if you're not doing anything with your life, "estás comiendo mierda" or if you're wasting your time or simply bored, "estás comiendo mierda," if you need to get something done; but instead, you're procrastinating, "estás comiendo mierda" and if you're eating just "junk food" and nothing really nutritious "estás comiendo mierda, as well."  And today, I had an "A-ha moment" which is that I've been "eating crap" in so many aspects of my life that it stinks (literally.)  I have mixed feelings about it.  I feel embarrassed, ashamed, mad, angry, motivated, and determined to continue on my quest to stop "eating crap." (I do think it sounds more "colorful" in Puerto Rican Spanish - "dejar de comer mierda.")
The other day, my brother "from another mother", José Luis wrote on his blog about  how he is starting his career now at 41...And got me thinking..."If he starting his career at 41, crap! I'm in a very "crappy" situation because I'm going "in reverse" with mine." (Ironically, I do love what I'm currently doing in my current job.) Which simultaneously brought me back to Oct. 6, 2004, the day I had "Gastric Bypass Surgery" (to lose the weight once and for all...) Now, I found myself not only going on reverse with my career, but with my weight loss, as well.  Luiso and I, beside being partners in life, have many things in common, we think, analyze and over-analyze everything "that we need to do..."  However, it takes us forever to put those thoughts into action.  I don't know if it is "laziness" or simply "fear."  From what I know from Luiso's background (especially his teenage years) is that he went to a school that I've never heard of (until I met him) and that his friends and acquaintances called him "Mulli" (term of endearment derived from the word "mullido" which in English is "soft, fluffy")  He HATES that "nickname" - however, everyone else around him find it "cute" or "funny." (I hate it, too.)  I also know, living in Puerto Rico all my childhood and teenage years, it could've been worst than "mulli."  (I'm not even going to get into the "bullying" theme) At the end of the day, putting everything in perspective, "mulli" isn't that bad... Going back to our weight loss and more healthy way of living journey, and to stop "eating crap" in all the sense of the word/phrase, we need to identify all the "crap" we have been feeding ourselves.  To our minds, spirit, body, etc.  Because one thing I've discovered in my 41 yrs old existence, is that a lot people are just "full of crap."  And they're not shy to spread their "crap" around.  Also, I would love to go back in time to the moment when I started to believe it and feed it into my body, mind and soul.  Between anger and sprouts of pity, I've decided that I don't want to deal with any extra-crap. In any way.  (Just the necessary one to survive, though....)  While thinking about all this "crap," and doing a "quick" review of my " chubby life" (which has a current total of 40 yrs. because I have 2 yrs. of being "semi-thin".)  Even though experiencing a weight loss of 140 lbs back in 2005-2006, I've never saw myself as "thin." I might have lost the "crap" in my body, but didn't lose the crap in my mind and what I believed I was." Needless to say, it came back, slowly-but surely, all the crap- did come back. 
Now, I need to figure it out and go with the process of "letting go of the crap" - and continue in our efforts to change our life.  The good thing is Luiso and I have an amazing motivation, our boys.  I cannot believe we are the parents of LJ and Edwin Miguel.  And, as they say, your children are the "better, upgraded version of you"  - I don't want them to have to carry our "load of crap," plus theirs.  Because I don't think anyone in the world is exempt of having to deal with "crap."  Sometimes, dealing with "crap" assist us in humbling ourselves and come out "clean" afterwards. But if we can teach them by example how to deal with "it" in a better way, and "scoop it on time" - I'm all in for it.